Not bad, pretty intense, and the loops were alot of fun, but its almost over before you know it. Still alot of fun.

Am I the only person in the world who, while thinking about this ride, pictures Dr. Evil saying, "The LA-SER," while making scare quotes with his hands? Its a fitting mental image, as this ride, like Dr. Evil and life itself, is nasty, brutish, and short. Some years ago, I made a ridiculous pact with myself to ride all roller coasters with my hands in the air. This and the Cyclone are the only two rides that have since caused me to break that pact. The first drop on the Laser is one of the most under-appreciated in coasterdom. After the laborious ascent up the lift hill, which Im convinced is an intentionally-disarming psychological ploy, you are suddenly ripped off the apex and hurled into the dizzying one-two punch of those terribly beautiful Schwarzkopf loops. Then, before you can even begin to catch your breath, you repeat virtually the same maneuver, only this time horizontally, instead of vertically. The best Schwarzopf compositions have an almost Wagnerian quality in their ability to combine brutality and virtuosity. No matter how you feel about them, you cant deny their power.

The point is well-taken that after all these years, Dorney might consider taking the Laser off those stacked wooden blocks and sinking it into some cement. But Schwarzkopf is the master of the portable roller coaster, an art form unto itself, and this is one of the highwater marks of the medium. I think its perpetual jury-rigged installation is only fitting, a nod to the particular genius of designing wholly self-contained mechanisms of terror that not incidentally can be disassembled and loaded onto a couple of flat-bed trucks in a matter of hours. Minimalist restraints are another Schwarzkopf trademark employed to excellent effect on the Laser. Few but the Maestro had the courage to disencumber his riders through a 360 degree element, but his example only proves how superfluous all those over-the-shoulder restraints really are. This is, in the scheme of things, a ride of modest proportions. Yet few will find themselves ready for more by the end. In terms of packing serious thrills into a small package, the creations of Anton Schwarzkopf take the prize...hands down.

I was gonna say this was the worst coaster at Dorney Park but later in the day I found a even worse one. Alot of what I hated about this ride happened before the ride even started. First off while in line you notice how horrible this ride looks. It actually sits on wooden boxs and has water to weigh it down. I understand it is a portable coaster, but why cant Dorney make it permanent, like atleast cement it to the ground so it looks stable, unless they hopefully will get rid of it soon. Also there is little way to pick your seat, as you are let in and told to fill the train front to back. Then if you have a bag or loose articles to have to bring them onto the ride with you which means stuffing them between your legs. I asked the attendant why I couldnt put my bag on the platform and was told "All I know is you have to keep your bag with you". I also didnt like how there was only a lap bar and no over the shoulder restraints or even a seat belt. Then we get to the ride itself which brags about its 93 foot drop, it then climbs up the lift and throws you into the first drop and into 2 incredbilly force full loops, and if your scared dont put your head down in fear cause it will only back your neck hurt a whole lot. The ride then throws you into a violent turn which is slightly painfull and the ride just continues to turn untill the end. Overall a horrible ride and unless I didnt get draged on by freinds who didnt get to ride it yet, I would of never done it twice. A ride once if anything type of ride, a ride never if your smart.

I had no anticipation for this to be a good ride during my visit to Dorney Park. It was small, old, and looked bumpy. I have a huge problem with this ride: Assigned Seating. I was hoping for front row and with perfect luck I got it. My friend and I hopped in when the lady opperating the ride said she was moving us to row 6. It turns out two kids about 10 each had begged her for front row because they said they have been trying for an hour to get front row. You have got to be kidding me right. So my friend and I were angry about that. Well we went up the lift hill and then down the tiny drop. We hit the loops which hurt my stomach and twisted and turned until it was over. I still cannot believed we were moved. We went storming to guest relations but they just shrugged. So we went back in the park and still enjoyed our day. Laser is not fast, painful, and assigned seating is ridiculous. I will settle with a 6 to not mess up the ratings.

Overrated in my opinion, but still worth a ride while at Dorney. Well its been said that Laser is a portable coaster by many and it certainly looks like one. From the horrid paint job to the temporary support structure, Laser looks pretty bad in my opinion. Unfortunately, the ops didnt let me wait for a seat and I instead was assigned a seat, which I abhor. Well, the layout was compact, which led to the ride being rough at times and I came off with a headache. The two loops were very powerful though, but the ride was very short. At least it was a walk-on all day.

Laser, although looking like a quaint little coaster, packs a pretty nasty punch. It rests in the corner of Dorney and waits. While waiting in line, you may even notice that the ride is not cemented into the ground, but rests on top of water-filled boxes that weigh it down. When the train whizzes by, the track even lifts off of these crates which makes you pretty nervous. Once the train departs from the station, it takes its very slow climb up the first lift hill. The first drop is pretty steep and leads nicely into the coaster’s two loops. For such a small coaster, those loops are very intense. In such a short amount of space and time those two loops hurl you upside-down with great force. The freedom provided by the simple lap bar only adds to the effect of the loops. Afterwards though, Laser gets pretty painful. Without notice, the train jolts to the side and goes through a helix. Since the turn is so sudden, your neck will get a nice cracking. Some more sharp turns follow and the train comes to an abrupt halt. I am able to peacefully endure the aches and pains caused by some coasters, but that whiplash was too much for me. Unlike the backache that SF Great Adventure’s Viper gave you which went away after 5 minutes, or the results of an Arrow looper, this pain lingers for a while. For such a small ride, it provides so many Gs as well as many sharp turns. You’ll come off stunned by the sheer intensity of the ride, but will be a bit achy for a while.

Laser isnt amazing, but its worth riding due to its intensity. The wait is never long, and any Schwarzkopf fan will love it. Im not a big fan of these coasters, but theyre quite forceful and intense. Actually, I came to Dorney Park with a group and took some instruments on the rides to get measurements. Well, it turns out that according to my readings, Laser has a solid 4.5-5 Gs at the bottom of the first loop. Thats quite impressive.

I really enjoyed this awesome Schwarzkopf coaster. It was my first Anton and it was a great first impression. Now, you might be wondering why I gave it a 7 then...and the only reasons I can give you is the very short layout, the one-train operation, and the way they choose your seat for you. Now having said that, the ride is very intense and the loops were just as fun and disorienting as everyone has raved. The line was fast growing while I was there due to the single-train operation, so I ended up only getting one ride on this thing, unfortunately

Not bad, not bad at all. The double loop was really cool, and the rest of the ride wasnt bad either. The only complaint is the slow lift, but other then that a fun ride.

Im giving Lazer a six souley for the 1st two loops. THe rest sucked due to lack of banking.