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 Review of Zipper @ Coney Island Rides
0 Rating Posted by: adriahna on 9/5/2007 7:26:00 PM
Maybe Im being touched by a bit of sentimentality, and feeling such a sense of loss that this ride is now dismantled and on its way to Honduras... but I am compelled to give it a ten - I like to think that I have a clear enough head to allow it that much, as it was one hell of a ride.

I admit to having had a rather lackluster experience on my first Coney Island Zipper jaunt - with hrrytraver at my side, the circuit was filled with squeaks, lurches and a somewhat sluggish speed level... in short, we were able to carry on a relatively fluid conversation about life in general - not a good thing on a Zipper. I had to chalk it up to being early in the season - after having read Timbermans effusive review, I knew that something was, well, off.

Boy, was I right.

Later that same spring, I took my amusement park and life-in-general companion to the Zipper. Hed never been on one, and why the hell not give Coneys that honor? As well as, of course, a second chance. We clambered into the cage, and I looked the operator (you know Coneys operators, folks - need I say more) in the eye, and said, "Get this... hes never been on one of these things". The op just nodded and showed his teeth - or lack thereof - in a wide, demonic grin. I added... "Oh, and on top of that... hes going into the MARINES". I never saw a ride op light up so much like a roman candle - he was downright ecstatic. "Tough guy, eh? Lets see what he can handle", was his response. We were alone on the ride, and I knew this guy meant BUSINESS.

And oh, my god... we were immediately sent into the clutches of hell.

I cannot possibly conceive of how many times we were flipped, and at such a level of gut-wrenching force, for such a damned looooong time. I wouldnt be shocked at all to find that we spent at least ten minutes on the thing - after all, that sadistic genius of a ride op had a Marine-to-be on his pride and joy, and nobody else was in line to have a go. He drove that thing mercilessly, with the two of us screaming like little kids confronted by a viewing of Faces of Death. My other held firm with the digestive fortitude of a well-trained jet fighter - I on the other hand started getting woozy at about, say, nine minutes into the cycle. I remember getting pelted like crazy with pocket change and hairpins, finally listing into a mantra of "Thats enough Thats enough Thats enough Thats enough", and somehow, right about then the op brought her to an easy stop. I think he must have seen the look on my face, and thought better than to be cleaning up vomit from all over the cage, you know. He brought us to the sacred ground of planet Earth once more, albeit not without a few "Im going to screw with you guys" jolts thrown in for good measure. Utterly blindsided, we nearly fell out of the cage, and the op asked us, "Well, how was it?" Our reply - "Amazing".

So, folks, there you have the legendary Coney Island Zipper. If you ever make it to Honduras in the future, and happen upon this beast, run, dont walk, and get your ticket. And be sure to tell them you have something or other to do with the military - it cant hurt.

Review Comments

Timberman on 9/5/2007 7:37:29 PM said:
Ive been waiting to read this review for quite some time, adriahna, and it didnt disappoint. While our loss is Central Americas gain, anyone who experienced this gizmo unleashed isnt likely to forget it.
adriahna on 9/5/2007 8:12:44 PM said:
Why, thanks so much, Timberman - after that second ride to hell and back, I felt as though I had been inducted into a sort of Skull-and-Bonesesque elite club. Unleashed is definitely the word. Whew.
Horizons12 on 9/10/2007 10:56:29 PM said:
That was such a good review! I think I might just cry knowing that I was never able to get on it again. Thats also the reason as to why I never reviewed it; I just cant rate it based on how the TPCon ride was knowing that this thing was actually multicolored steel death. lol
adriahna on 9/11/2007 6:55:22 PM said:
Oh, believe me, Horizons - there was no comparison at all between the TPCon cycle, and this one. Multicolored steel death is just about the most perfectly descriptive name for what that ride was. And I dont even remember being able to keep my senses out for the lateral play that Timberman mentioned in his review - I was too busy freaking out with fear for my own and my others future... good god, what a hell of a ride!
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