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 Review of Cyclone @ Six Flags New England
0 Rating Posted by: Nlfreakk on 6/21/2009 10:12:00 PM
''Six Flags New England has the honor of being home to what many consider the Best Coaster on the Planet. On the other end of the spectrum, Cyclone is there too. Unfortunately, I really can’t think of ANY positives for this ride. I got off this monstrosity holding my lower back. I felt more like 62 than 26'', said TheCoasterCritic

Oh, Cyclone... you have such a special meaning to me. You're different than any other coaster I've ridden. You're a rare case. You're unique...

Unique for being what has got to be the most violent, busted and strickingly awful coaster experience I've ever come across in my life. Just nuke this thing!

This mess has problems all across the board. Wether it's painful and horrifyingly brutal, wether it's boring and tedious.

When I got to SFNE, I was really looking forward to it (after SROS, of course!). I heard it was a thrilling airtime machine. CoasterGrotto rated it 9.0/ 10! So halfway though the day, I went in with lots of optimism. But I've been consistently snapped in my face by countless flaws.

At first, it just doesn't look really good. It's just a huge ugly mess of white wooden beams. And the queue line was just as depressing! Luckily, the line was a 20 minute wait, which could've been reduced to way under 10 if there were two trains running and if the operators were just a bit more disciplined.

So, board the hyper (hyper!!) stuffed trains, and after a while, off you go. Already there, there's a really bad sing of what's awaiting you. You're going at about 10 kph and you can already feel vibrations, but it's when you hit the lift hill that you freak out. I don't know if this is normal on these types of woodies, but once my car reached the climbing angle, it was bouncing back and forth, like, seriously.

I was freaked out. I was scared. I was fearing for my life.

The ride I got though was much worse than I expected. It was intense in parts. It was stuffed with airtime and laterals. But it was an absolute pain. During the more intense part, like the first drop, the vibrations of my car were FIERCE. I was thrown every which way in my seat as I was desperately hanging on for dear life. Many of the faster segments felt like rolling down a hill in a barrel: EVERY THRILLING ASPECT REGARDING THOSE PARTS WERE DEMOLISHED MY THE ROUGHNESS. Cyclone is not a beast in which claws you can actually sit down and enjoy yourself: The fact that you're thrown everywhere all the time absolutely kills any fun that could've been had here.

It's not thrilling, or exciting, it's just plain abusively violent. Just flat-out BAD.

And what about the milder parts, like the second turnaround and the twisted ending? Could've these been moments to try to relax and uncover? Or actually enjoy? Well, no! You're not treated to any of that sick ragdoll effect you just lived through, but you still can't relax, more like because you're bored and so annoyed! Bored my the terrible pacing: the trim brakes cut the speed heavily. And annoyed by some omnipresent vibrations: it's so busted and rough it seems like no matter how fast it goes, it'll never roll smoothly. It is FULL of bumps, and you just want those bumps to end.

The ending, which takes almost one half of the coaster's lenght, is terrible! The trim brakes kill all feelings of speed or G-forces, except those of the vibrations. And the fact that the coaster ends in such a mediocre and depressing tone makes hitting the brakes and leaving the ride feel all the more cheap and unsatisfying. It jsut leaves you with a nasty smile of disgust.

However, I do give Cyclone credit for three little things.
-First, if you're some kind of a sick dude who likes to beat himself, you're likely to find what you're looking for here. God are you in for quite a shake.
-Second, congrats SFNE for stuffing the car cushions so much. You may get shaked up like a ragdoll all around, but try that in a sofa. The softness spares you quite some pain.
-Third, I have to say, the dip after the evil trim brakes (halfway through the ride) ROCKS!! It's surprising and it gives a freaking high amount of airtime. This part right here is great. Too bad the rest is just absymal.

Well, I've recommended you try Great American Scream Machine (Great Adv) if you were curious about how it feels. You won't be satisfied in any sort of way, though at least, it will have been worth it because by then, you'd finally know how it feels.

Now with Cyclone, it's a totally different story: if you're curious about how it feels, don't give it a try. You'll be disturbed, shocked and just plain disgusted. It's not a good experience.
In fact it's just an insanity test.

As the past Riverside Cyclone, I heard it was a phenomenal legend. Unfortunately it is also a fact that as the -P A S T- Riverside Cyclone, it's just not good for you today.

Review Comments

praxis on 8/18/2009 1:02:48 PM said:
First... I thought Supes was "The Baddest Coaster on the Planet"

Secondly, I can't disagree with your review. Sadly, because I remember when it was the Rioverside Cyclone, and it was great. Alas, how the mighty have fallen.
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