They are the few, the shamed, the abismal. They are rides so terrible, so awful, that they possess not one redeeming quality. I am normally a very positive guy when it comes to rides and reviewing them, because for the most part I am having a blast if I am at a park riding away. I often thought that I may never have a ride dubious enough to warrant me handing out that oh so dreadful 1 rating. Well, turns out I was wrong. So here it is, my first ever 1.....Grizzly Run. As far as river rapids rides go, there are the good, the bad, and Geauga Lakes Grizzly Run. I know this is a deviation from these other reviews here, but I will explain why this bear deserves being locked up in hybernation forever!
To set the scene, my brother and I were at Geauga Lake on a sweltering day that approached 90 degrees. We figured that was as good a day as any to try out Grizzly Run, the parks rapids ride. The line appeared to be short upon entering it, but we soon found out that looks can be deceiving, in more ways than one! The line crawled and took forever to just get to the actual queue. We waited out in the blistering sun for what ended up being close to 2 hours. We figured the drenching wed receive would make up for the awful wait....ha! As we got to the station we discovered the major problem leading to that gigantic wait - the crew was simply asking how many were in the group, sticking them in a raft, and sending them on their way. Are you kidding me? Rafts constanly left with empty seats, and at one point one was sent with just 2 riders in it! I was stunned, but little did I know that it wouldnt be half as bad as the ride itself.
We ended up riding with 3 other people, only because I told the one ride op that the line was crawling and their raft had more than 2 empty seats on it. He initially refused my request, but then after I asked again he conceded with a very friendly "whatever". Cheery crew, arent we?  Finally, or so we thought, it was time to get cooled off.
The ride itself was pathetic. Our raft meandered around the course, and the "rapids" that were there were inexplicably tame. I think once a rapid splashed onto the one side of the raft, getting the one rider mildly wet on one leg. I was lucky enough to receive exactly 2 drops of water from that - how refreshing!! Around the last bend we went, and I figured at least some waterfalls would be there and drench me maybe once. Well, you could see where the waterfalls SHOULD have been, but they were off. Makes perfect sense right? Lets just keep the waterfalls off on a 90 degree day! For shame, Geauga Lake, for shame! :nono: Back to the station, someone else asked the ride op why the waterfalls were off and the response they got was appalling: "Just shut up and exit the ride, I dont complain to you at your job, do I?" Absolutely disgusting behavior by a park employee. So there you have it, Grizzly Run at Geauga Lake sits firmly planted at the bottom of my list of rides I have ridden. Perhaps when everything was working and on this ride was pretty decent, but I have to review it based on the experience I had, which was terrible. In my opinion, this was a sad and pathetic excuse for a water ride that offered zero thrills and didnt even get anyone wet. Congrats to you, Grizzly Run, for being the shining example of what a rapids ride should NOT ever be.
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