Kentucky Rumbler gets the 2006 "Field of Dreams" Award for Meritorious Accomplishment in the Construction of a Roller Coaster in the Middle of Nowhere. They built it, and we came. I am very happy to report, moreover, that Rumbler was well worth the trip.
Ive generally been of the opinion that GCI roller coasters, especially those with Millennium Flyers, are like the stone fox that you thought was unobtainable, somehow still managed to obtain, and then discovered she wasnt really that special after all. I dont want to offend anyone on this family website, so I wont elaborate on this analogy beyond stating that GCI coasters seem to trade on their looks. Their physical presence is so overwhelming that you want to believe youre having an amazing time in their company, even when you know deep in your heart that youd be much happier and more fulfilled with that around-the-way CCI or that old clunker that used to turn heads when you were a kid but that everyone thinks theyve moved on from since then. Yet what Griffon does for B&M in this critics opinion, Rumbler does for GCI: it takes the best trademark elements of an underperforming marque, uses them to their fullest advantage, and then ups the ante by incorporating standout elements not seen on previous designs. In the case of Rumbler, those added elements are an excellent, two-stage first drop; a layout that lets the Flyers do their usual twisty thang while feeling more like a run-away train and less like a string of roller skates; and some excellent blending of horizontal and vertical forces. Meanwhile, the ride also has GCIs usual knockout looks, an incomprehensibly undulating track, and trains designed to negotiate the layout with the sure-footedness of a Himilayan Sherpa. Thus, Rumbler almost lets you have it all. Shes sexy, shes fast, shes curvy, and she cooks.
I say almost, however, because while the Millennium Flyers perform better here than on that notable disappointment Lightening Racer, theyre still saddled with the same excrable dual restraint system, the business end of which is a big, steel, vinyl-coated rectangle that digs ever deeper into your midquarters over each successive bump. As Ive noted elswhere, its like having someone heave an anchor into your lap. No matter how hot things have otherwise become, thatll cool your jets in a hurry. In Rumblers case, it negates the payoff of what should be several notable airtime events. The grey matter tops out in the brain pan; the digestive organs float weightlessly in the abdomen; and the lungs hover in the thoracic cavity. The butt, however, stays firmly planted on the seat. Thus Rumbler takes you to third base, but leaves you needing a cold shower when all is said and done.
Still, coquettish though she may be, Rumbler neverthless represents a big step in the right direction for GCI. Once she warmed up in the summer heat, and with a full train of admirers urging her on, this ride served up no-nonsense intensity over an excellent layout. But for the chastity-belt-like death grip of the lap rectangles, we could have had a beautiful relationship. Many riders, moreover, will happily accomodate this quirk.
So really, Rumbler, its not you. Its me. Its not a question of whether or not youre perfect, because were just not perfect together. I wish you well, however, and know that most riders would be lucky to have you. I just think the best thing for both of us is that we go our separate ways. So chin up, Shorty. Chin up. Well always have Bowling Green.
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